I'm going to tell you a very personal story of why your friend circle matters.
I'd had only one minor panic attack in the past couple of years, and I know why that one happened. I was on the edge already, and I stupidly pushed myself further. And my body finally said "no more!"
Then, I almost had a full-blown panic attack this summer, and that one caught me by complete surprise. I was in the truck with my husband. We'd just had four amazing days at an awesome event, and I was feeling like I could conquer the world.
Then, as we were heading out of the city, just 10 minutes into our drive home, the panic hit me out of nowhere, and it took every trick I know to keep it from taking me completely.
I totally didn't expect it, given how positive and peaceful I had been feeling that week. Though it caught me by surprise, I knew exactly why it happened.
You see, three years ago, in that same city, at that same event, I almost didn't get home again.
I was traveling with a "friend" who decided to just pretend I didn't exist and did everything she could to keep me from getting home.
That trip home was the most traumatic experience of my life, and the second I was safely back with someone who cared about me, I completely fell apart as the tension finally left me. I had months of intense anxiety, even after I'd blocked this person's access to my life in every way, including walking away from the entire circle of friends that we had in common.
I did not realize the full effect of that trauma, but my body/subconscious/soul (whatever part of you stores trauma) remembered. And as I left that city again, three years later, despite being with a person I trust completely and in a truck instead of a plane, for some reason, my body/subconscious/soul freaked out in utter certainty that we were about to experience that trauma again.
THAT is why your friends are so important. One bad choice can have impacts you can't even imagine, and those impacts can last far beyond what you expect.
A previous me would have stayed loyal and kept up the friendship as I had years before with another toxic friend. But I'd learned a thing or two about the results of "toxic loyalty," which is what I now call it when you stick with a person even though it's killing you inside.
I wrote more about this experience and my journey to overcoming toxic loyalty for a chapter in the book "Imperfectly Perfect."
If you would like to read my chapter and the stories of the nine others ladies who shared their journey of self-love and self-discovery, you can find it here.
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