Have you ever connected the amount of clutter in your life with how anxious you are? They may be more related than you think.
I'll admit that I always liked having stuff. I think it made me feel like I was prepared for whatever might come. In some ways, that made sense, but in others, it didn't. I mean, what was having 10 extra shirts I never wore preparing me for?
I don't believe I ever reached hoarder status, but I was definitely a packrat from the time I was a kid. I had a hard time letting go of things if I thought they might be useful someday or if they had any sentimental value.
This behavior continued when I moved out on my own and after I got married. My husband had picked up many hoarder behaviors during his life. Letting go of anything at all is difficult for him.
As the stuff accumulated in our home, my stress level increased, but it took me a long time to tie the two together.
The Constant To-Do List
I once heard/read someone telling how clutter was basically a constantly visible to-do list, and that really resonated with me. Putting away the stacks on the dining room table was a to-do item, as were organizing the pile of shoes by the doorway, finally catching up with the dishes, and finding a place for the random books scattered on various surfaces.
Seeing each of these to-do items every day was an unconscious reminder to my brain that I needed to do something about them. It was a silent stress that was barely acknowledged but was there nonetheless. Over time, the reminders turned to frustration, guilt, and self-loathing.
Why couldn't I keep up with the clutter and the housework? I felt like a failure, and that only worsened my mental health.
I finally decided to do something about it and started getting rid of excess stuff. It was a struggle because I still had those attachments to useful and sentimental items. Plus, I couldn't get rid of anything my husband wanted.
But as I decluttered my life, I realized something – I didn't miss ANY of the items I got rid of! I sold my favorite childhood book series and my collection of model horses I'd accumulated from the time I was eight years old. And rather than regretting it, I was happy someone else could enjoy them. Letting go of the possession did not erase the memories!
And then, we moved to the first place that wasn't owned by family. Our previous homes had been already filled with stuff when we moved in, but this one was a clean slate. And I remember how I felt the first few weeks before we'd moved everything. I had a very small visible to-do list, and it was so extremely peaceful!
That is when I really got hooked on minimalism.
Being Able to Find Things
The next big benefit of having less stuff is you spend less time digging through what you have, looking for that elusive item you know is around somewhere.
For example, looking through a stack of mail and paperwork for a bill that needed to be paid was a common occurrence in our home. We had an exorbitant amount of paperwork. Some of it was necessary, and some wasn't. And none of it needed to be in piles on the dining room table for months on end.
I've developed a habit of sorting through the mail as soon as I get it, and all the junk goes right into the trash. There is no benefit to setting it all on the table to sort later. Junk mail does not deserve one moment of your time, much less two or three – or however many times you end up paging through it while looking for something else.
Not being able to find something you need is stressful! And having less clutter to get in the way of finding that item only reduces that stress.
Having a Company-Ready Home
I know I'm not the only person who stresses out about having people over because I feel like my house isn't clean enough.
Before minimalism, I was absolutely mortified if someone showed up unannounced. I didn't want anyone to see inside my house! And I don't want to think how much anxiety that gave me. Even if no one was there, I stressed about "what if" someone showed up.
Simply having fewer dishes has made a world of difference. I hope I'm not the only one guilty of letting them pile on the counter, but now that I only have a place setting for four people, they can only pile up so much before I'm forced to wash them. And it's easier to commit to washing them every day.
Now, I'm not saying my house is spotless all the time, but with less stuff, I am able to keep it at a point where I have people over every week, and when my parents made a surprise trip to see me, all I did prior to their arrival was fill the dishwasher.
Altogether, these three benefits of living a more minimalist lifestyle have reduced a lot of stress and anxiety in my life. And I by no means call myself an extreme minimalist. I will probably never live with only 50 possessions or cull my closet down to 25 items. However, I recognize that the people who've done those things have benefited greatly.
Minimalism is unique for each person, and it's up to you to find the level at which you're comfortable.
You might need a little bit of a push to get started, but once you experience the advantages, you'll be more inspired to keep going on your own.
If you need help for that first push, try these methods that will challenge you a little without being too overwhelming:
- Get rid of one item every day for a year (or seven items a week if that's easier)
- Cull 10% of something – clothing, movies, dishes, books, toys
- Put items you don't use often in a box, write the date on it, and anything still in the box after a year get donated or sold
- Turn your clothes hangars backwards on the bar, then put them back the right way after you wear that item – anything on hangars that are still backward after six months (or after going through all the temperatures in your area) gets donated
The main thing to remember with minimalism is it's a process. You didn't accumulate all the stuff in a day or even a year, and it's not going to leave overnight either. Don't add to your anxiety or mental stress by putting too much emphasis on it. Do what you can when you can, and let minimalism bless you!
Did you know you can have info like this sent right to you and not miss a single tip?
I saw my first mosquito of the year the other day. There really should be more of a break between the snow melting and the mosquitoes arriving, wouldn't you agree?
Since you're reading this post, you probably already know you should avoid conventional bug sprays. The ingredients are almost all toxic, and DEET is gaining a reputation as a poison to be avoided at all costs.
Certain agencies encourage an abundance of caution regarding mosquito-borne illnesses. However, the reality is that the insecticides recommended to deal with the problem are actually far more dangerous.
West Nile is the most common mosquito-borne illness in the U.S. yet very few mosquitoes carry it. And even if you are somehow bitten by an infected mosquito, your chance of becoming infected and severely ill are around 1%.
So weigh the risks – way less than a 1% chance of illness OR guaranteed poisons in your system?
But even though mosquito bites are more of a nuisance than a health threat, no one wants to deal with mosquitoes or any other biting insects, so what can you do that is effective but also natural?
1 – Eat Garlic
While this has not been proven (and many known natural remedies have never been "proven"), I have noticed the effect of eating garlic myself. When I first started cooking, before I learned much about herbs and spices, I used a LOT of garlic. After some time, I noticed that I no longer got many mosquito bites.
Some time later, my garlic consumption dwindled, and the mosquitoes started to bother me more again.
While, again, this isn't proven, and it might not work for everyone, garlic is extremely good for you. Adding extra to your diet is certainly not going to hurt, even if it doesn't make a difference to the mosquitoes. You're not out anything by trying.
2 – Essential Oils
Many bugs don't enjoy the scent of certain essential oils, so these oils can create an unwelcoming atmosphere.
Some of the best known bug-disliked oils include citronella, lemongrass, lavender, eucalyptus, tea tree, and peppermint. Different bugs dislike different scents more than others. For instance, mosquitoes really don't like citronella, but peppermint is better for deterring ants.
There are a few ways to use essential oils to keep comfortable outdoors. First, you can drop oils onto your clothing (be careful with light colored clothing). The fabric will act as a passive diffuser, but it might be most effective to place the oils on areas near bare skin.
Second, if you'll be in a limited area and have electrical access, you can diffuse oils to create an atmosphere around you. Oils linger in the air for quite some time, so the protection can last a while.
Third, and my favorite, you can make a spray. Choose whatever oils will work best for the insects you wish to deter, put 20-30 drops total in a small spray bottle, add a splash of witch hazel and apple cider vinegar, and top off the bottle with water. Spray on you or around the area where you'll be.
3 - Plants
I already mentioned how bugs dislike certain plants, and this applies to more than just their essential oil form. Plant lemongrass around your patio area, oregano in your garden, and mint near your doorways. The plants won't give off the concentrated scent of essential oils, but they're always there, and it requires no extra effort on your part.
Other Things to Consider
Your blood type, skin or clothing color, and alcohol consumption can all affect how attracted mosquitoes are to you.
Mosquitoes demonstrate a preference for people with type O blood. They are also attracted to darker colors, so wearing light-colored clothing can help. And if you've consumed alcohol, you may also attract more mosquitoes.
If you'd like to get your hands on the most effective essential oils, use this link.
This is one of only a couple oil brands that distills its oils to maintain ALL their beneficial properties.
"Always consult your doctor" – this phrase is everywhere.
We are told to consult our doctors before starting any exercise program, when making dietary changes, when beginning a new supplement or health modality.
Even in my certified natural health professional and certified health coach courses, we were told to use this phrase. In this situation, it wasn't so much because it's actually necessary but more-so to protect ourselves from legal liability.
Now, I'm not denying there are times when you do need to consult a doctor ... but it's NOT all the time!
If you are a reasonably healthy person, you can begin an exercise program without consulting your doctor. Just pay attention to your body and stop or slow down if it's telling you it's too much. Same with dietary changes and new supplements or health modalities – pay attention to your body.
Your body knows better what is good for it than your doctor does.
The hard truth is doctors know very little about health. Hear me out. Most medical training focuses on anatomy, physiology, pathology, and pharmacology. That means they learn how the parts of the body fit together, their proper function, causes and effects of diseases and injuries, and how to use medications to fix problems.
In case you didn't catch it, their entire education trains them to identify health problems (good) and fix them with medications (bad).
They don't learn about nutrition. They don't learn about herbs or homeopathics or essential oils. They don't learn about the emotional and spiritual components of health. They don't learn how lifestyle modifications and ingredient awareness can eliminate so many common health issues.
Is it any surprise then that when you go to the doctor with any health complaint, you are almost always prescribed a drug? It could be a simple headache, and you just need to hydrate and stay away from artificial fragrance, but you'll walk out of the doctor's office with a prescription instead.
I know someone whose doctor offered only a total knee replacement as a solution to an injury. This person had no pain prior to the injury and does not want a knee replacement, but the doctor looked at one x-ray, saw there wasn't enough cartilage in the knee, and went right to knee replacement. He never examined the patient beyond the x-ray. In his mind, X=Y, and there was nothing beyond that. This patient learned more from a chiropractor visit than this so-called specialist.
So even though I may be required at times to tell you, "Consult your doctor," I will almost never actually mean it. Sure, if you've got a broken bone, are bleeding profusely, or have endured some trauma, you need to see a doctor. It can also be helpful to have x-rays, MRIs, blood work, and more done by a doctor when needed. Get the information, refuse the drugs (unless your life is in imminent danger without them), and work on actually solving the issue – because medications aren't cures.
You know your body better than anyone. If what a doctor says goes against what you feel, trust your instinct. Get a second opinion. See a naturopath or chiropractor or health coach. Do your own research. Get familiar with the range of options available to you. Only then should you decide on a path forward.
And for goodness sake, unless you're an extreme case, you don't need to consult a doctor to start doing yoga or walking. You don't need medical advice before eating more fruits and veggies and drinking less soda. And you can research supplements and other remedies for any contraindications yourself.
Check out this article to hear in doctor's own words what they wish they'd been taught in medical school. Then, feel free to click some of the categories at the top of this post to read more on topics important to you.
Grief, I think, is the most difficult circumstance of life to navigate.
It is a journey on which you are entirely alone. No one else feels exactly the way you do, so you don’t feel like there is anyone who truly understands, anyone you can really talk to about it.
Each relationship is unique, so each grief is unique, and that quote, “Where there is deep grief, there was great love” ... it’s true. Please remember that you are entitled to your grief, no matter what anyone else feels.
And if you are experiencing a loss that's less "accepted" – maybe a beloved pet or an unborn baby or biological family you never met but feel just as deeply as the loss of immediate family – you will probably feel even more alone because there are people who will think it’s not a big deal and others who will not even know you're grieving. Just remember the truth of your love; that is the only appropriate gauge by which to measure grief.
I once read a shockingly accurate illustration of grief. It was posted on Reddit by a person who goes by “GSnow” in response to a simple plea of “My friend just died. I don’t know what to do.” I share it here in hopes that it will help someone else the way it helped me.
“As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float.
“You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
“In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float.
“After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function.
“You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything … and the wave comes crashing.
“But in between waves, there is life.
“Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.
“Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them, too.”
How does this help? By knowing it's a wave. It will recede, and you'll have a chance to breathe again. Sometimes, it doesn't seem like you'll ever come out the other side of that wave. But you will. Trust that. Don't fight the waves, just ride them. Your feelings are valid. Concentrate on surviving one wave at a time. You can make it through.
If you feel like you’re drowning in your grief and have no one to help you float, please feel free to contact me. I am not a doctor or therapist, but I am a listening ear who has been through the waves, and I will not measure or shame your tears.
Written in honor of the greatest loss of my life – April 26, 2019.
It’s hard to say exactly when my natural health journey began.
What I consider the first “official” step was making foods from scratch, which seems almost poetic somehow.
I believe it was in 2011 when the news broke about the ingredients in the bread at a certain sandwich chain – ingredients that were also found in yoga mats.
Should anything in a yoga mat be in my sandwich? My thought was “no!”
That led to what was probably the first real step I took toward living more naturally – knowing what was going into the food I was consuming.
In 2012, I made a resolution to make one new food item from scratch each month.
I started with bread. Looking back, it probably wasn’t the easiest place to begin, but probably in part due to the fact that it’s the item which had inspired this mission in the first place, it seemed like a logical starting point for me.
It may not be as pretty as store-bought bread, but it tastes much better, and I can feel good about what’s in it!
I learned about yeast and proofing and different types of flours, and I realized that it wasn’t as difficult as I had anticipated. Sure, it took time – a lot of it! But much of it was time waiting for the dough to rise, and I could work on other things while I waited. I could only bake bread on days I didn’t work, but if you’ve ever eaten homemade bread fresh out of the oven, you know that it’s well worth it!
My other adventures that year included other bread items, such as burger buns, pita bread, and pizza crust, as well as things like peanut butter cups, jam, and more.
My advice if you’d like to take on making food from scratch? Start with what interests you, so you’ll be more likely to stick with it. For me, it was bread, crazy as that seems. For you, it might be something simpler, and that’s fantastic! Wherever you feel led to begin, start there. But don’t be afraid to try something more difficult. It’s all a journey, and what matters is the lessons you learn along the way.
If you'd like to start baking your own bread, this was the first recipe I tried, and it's still my base that I play around with.
And if you'd like to learn more about simple – and not as simple – swap-outs for common toxins, we talk about stuff like that all the time in my free Facebook group.
